My Story- John Jasper
I am an 81 year old man with ALS. I have trouble making people understand me when I talk. Even my wife cannot understand what I say sometimes. I cannot swallow normal foods and they need to be pureed for me to consume them. I have an excess of saliva which constantly has to be wiped from my lips, and I wobble a bit when I walk. I still have a clear mind and know what I would like to communicate and I trust God with my life and my future, if there is any for me. All this to introduce myself and what I want to say. I love the Lord Jesus with all my heart and the following paragraphs will explain when and how all this came to be.
Several years ago I decided I wanted to get closer to my Lord and have Him answer my prayers according to His timing and will. I picked out of my library a small booklet by Andrew Murray entitled “With Christ in the School of Prayer”. It greatly impressed me that God is a God who desires to answer my prayers. I realized too that my life had to be totally His if I expected any answers, so I began surrendering my life, bit by bit to the Lord Jesus. This surrender can be made all at one time but I want to break it down to explain it more, into the surrender of my body, my soul, my spirit, my heart, my mind, and my will.
First I will explain the surrender of my body to Jesus. He made me realize very quickly just what that meant. I would not be in control of my body any more. What went into my eyes and ears was up to Him. I had to keep from watching and hearing things that would not be glorifying to Him. I had to keep my hands and feet as well, within the bounds of His desire for me. I must, as well, be conscious of what God wants me to put into my body as food and drink and to look after it as it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. All this was in His power alone, my own strength was not capable of obeying.
Next I will explain the surrender of my soul to Christ. All my passions, desires, hopes, dreams, and emotions must be surrendered to Him. I cannot have any idols in my life. My passion for old cars has to be set aside for now, not that it is a bad desire but I was impressed that it could become an idol in my life if I allowed it to be. If I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. I must also rely on Him for strength when I feel angry or upset and raise my voice in trying to get my opinions or desires across. My temper must be under His control at all times and I find that it is now possible to not yell at bad drivers that cut me off on the roads. Lord here is my soul.
Then I want to mention the surrender of my spirit to the Lord. That is the part of me that can recognize the Spirit of God that dwells within me ever since I gave my life to Him many years ago. I had for many years asked for the filling of the Spirit but soon came to realize what that actually meant. I must walk in the Spirit, I must live in the Spirit, I must be led by the Spirit of God every moment of every day for everything. I have to trust Him completely that He knows what is best for me. I began to pray to that end. With the Spirit leading in my life, I began to change. My prayers changed from selfish, inward focused prayers to asking God to fill me with His love and power. Self was to be done away with and replaced with Christ. I learned to love and appreciate my wife and friends more than ever. I began to stop trying to get my own way in everything. I began loving and praying for people I had formerly despised. I prayed for our country, our politicians, the homeless, and realized the terrorists and political agitators, and protesters need Christ in their lives and someone to pray for them.
The heart is next to talk about surrendering to the Lord Jesus. The blood of our bodies flows from the heart. It is the source of life. Every part of my life is given to Him. The Bible says a lot about the heart and from it there comes out all the sinful things I have let in through various acts of disobedience and omission. We are also to love the Lord our God with all our heart as well as with all our soul and with all our mind and with all our strength. I asked God to reveal to me any unconfessed sin in my life. He started with small things that I had completely put out of my mind. Each time I asked He showed me harder and more complex things that I confessed immediately until I was living day by day confessing immediately as I was conscious of sin. 1 John 1:9 says that “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. Christ must be, and now is the ruler and king of my heart and life. I believe from experience that this is true.
The mind is something that is very personal. No one knows what I am thinking, but God does. He needs that surrendered to Him as well. What do I focus my mind on? What do I fill my mind with? I found that most fiction books are not filling my mind with the Christ honoring thoughts I should have. Most television shows and movies fill my mind with things not honoring to Him. I must be in constant communication with Christ through my day to find my way through the jungle of filth and corruption that is available so readily today. I began filling my mind with things of God. The Word of God became very precious to me, and my prayers for people became more of a concern for their spiritual well being rather than for their physical well being. Not that I neglected their physical needs but the spiritual needs are far more important.
The final act of dedication and surrender is the will. This was brought to a reality in my life when I decided I wanted God’s will to replace my will. We, as people, are created with the will to choose. Right from wrong, obedience or disobedience, what to do with our day, to accept Christ as Savior or reject Him, and the many other countless choices that come upon us – big and small. Right away I decided to go all the way in surrender. My will is now conformed to the will of God. What a freeing, blessed experience. About this time I met with a friend for coffee at Tim’s. It was in April and early May of 2024 when my speech had started to slur a small bit and we had no idea what was going on. I remarked to my friend that I no longer wanted my will to get in the way of God’s will. I think he was shocked at first but then I explained the situation and that everything pertaining to me was in His hands and that this is part of being led by the Spirit of God. Since that day he has joined me in celebrating that God will be in control of a life that is completely surrendered to Him, and being led by the Spirit is the greatest joy that a person can experience. Each day I have begins with the fresh filling of the Spirit and the request for Him to lead, guide and have His way in my every activity of the day.
With Jesus as my Savior and the Holy Spirit as my guide, through the last few months I have experienced great peace in my heart and soul. I know that whatever is ahead is under His control, so I can rest assured that the best is yet to come. With either longer life or close death, I win either way. Knowing my Lord and Savior and believing that He has a place prepared in Heaven for those that love and follow Him, my greatest prayer to Him now is that whether by life or death God will receive honor, glory and praise. May the rest of my life be an example to many of the power and grace of my Lord Jesus Christ.
John Jasper
PS- John welcome's your email correspondence to discuss anything you wish to share or explore further!